When we think about childhood bullying and its repercussions, the focus of the conversation is generally on the victim and with good reason. But we often tend to overlook the bully. This is a common practice and this reaction is usually because bullies are labelled as aggressive and difficult to deal with and, therefore, people see no use in talking to them. It is easier to think that people are bullies simply because they are bad people but it is usually more complex than that.
Now this is not to justify anyone’s behavior but simply to shed a little light on the mind of the bully and to get a little perspective about their inevitable dysfunctional adulthoods and may be even figure out ways of nipping their aggressive behavior in the bud as soon as it is discovered and hopefully create a safer environment for them and those around them.
Bullies Have Been Victims Themselves
I believe bullies are bullies for a reason and that reason is usually because either they come from broken or abusive houses or have massive issues regarding self-confidence and other inferiority and insecurity complexes. Bullies want to make their victims feel inferior so that they themselves could feel like their superior and at a higher level or even because they want to feel like they have the power in this dynamic.
This is a result of not processing real emotions properly and manifesting issues in an aggressive and manipulative ways that are destructive to one’s own self and unfortunately their victims. This blatant disregard of proper handling of emotions leads to unresolved problems that are detrimental to one’s personality and future. If due attention is not given to these bullies, they may just continue harboring these damaging traits which will affect their adulthood and not allow them to become stand up individuals and citizens.
Keeping the Dialogue Process On
While giving proper care to the victims is important, it is also very essential to talk to the bullies too. Especially childhood bullies whose minds are still developing and are at a tender age. If proper counselling is given and a sense of safety and a place for open dialogue is established, it could motivate these young troubled minds to talk about what led them into doing all this and can even help them to introspect and become a better person.
Handling and caring for a bully may seem like diving into unchartered territories for a lot as it is not heard of often but this particular exercise is extremely essential. Studies have shown that a majority of children and teenagers who have bullied people and have shown signs of aggression towards people who they think were lesser than them are more likely to have a criminal record or bring the same attitude in their places of work as well.
Lending Bullies a Helping Hand
These bullies are a potential risk to society so it is important that appropriate programs are established in schools and colleges so as to not only help the victims but also the bully and ensure their holistic development and transformation